【hsu, pi-ching. beyond eroticism: a historian's reading of humor in feng menglong's child's folly.】

Apple's new iPhones are hsu, pi-ching. beyond eroticism: a historian's reading of humor in feng menglong's child's folly.here.

At an event in Apple's corporate headquarters in Cupertino, California – the company's first in-person iPhone launch in three years – the company showcased its new iPhone 14 and iPhone 14 Plus.

The big news is that the "mini" variant is out, and you can now choose between a 6.1-inch iPhone 14 and a 6.7-inch iPhone 14 Plus.

Another thing that's different this year is that the new iPhones, at least the non-Pro variants, are powered by last year's A15 Bionic, but Apple improved it to "Pro" grade by adding another GPU core for a total of 5 cores.

The main and ultra-wide cameras on the back still have a 12-megapixel resolution, but they've been improved in several ways, including a faster aperture, and a feature Apple calls Photonic Engine, which is basically Deep Fusion but applied earlier in the process, before the photos are compressed. Apple says this will "dramatically" improve low-light performance, and all of the cameras on the phone benefit from it, even the selfie camera.

Oh, and the new iPhone 14 has no physical SIM tray. It's eSIM-only for now, folks.

• Everything Apple announced at the iPhone 14 event
• Apple announces iPhone 14 and iPhone 14 Plus
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• iPhone 14 won't come with a SIM tray anymore
• Apple's iPhone 14 line links up with satellites for emergency messaging

A big new feature, one that was rumored to be in the works for a while, is Emergency SOS via Satellite. It gives the iPhone some connectivity in areas where there are no cell towers. You won't be able to use this for much except for SOS messages, but it's a start.

The iPhone 14 starts at $799, and the iPhone 14 Plus starts at $899. Both phones will be available for pre-order on Sept. 9. However, while the iPhone 14 will launch on Sept. 16, the iPhone 14 Plus will come a little later, on Oct. 7.