【asexual eroticism】

Nothing says romance like small round capsules filled with tomato goo. That's the new Heinz motto,asexual eroticism probably.

Why? Well, for starters the condiment company is celebrating Valentine's Day with a fancy new product called Ketchup Caviar, which is, essentially, exactly what it sounds like.

Think regular caviar, then remove the delicacy of fish eggs, replace it with balls filled with ketchup, and you have Ketchup Caviar. You OK? Alright, good.

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On Thursday, the official Heinz Ketchup Twitter account shared a video of the "limited edition delicacy for true ketchup lovers," and boy is it something.

One colleague of mine described them as "ketchup beans," while another dubbed them "ketchup bubbles." (Both correct, in my opinion.) And Mashable's Executive Editor, the mom of a young child who would probably have a ~ball~ with the ketchup balls, simply referred to the "ketchup in tiny, exploding ball form" as her "nightmare."

While the "caviar" is meant to be luxurious, it doesn't seem to be especially practical. I mean, how are you supposed to eat fries with ketchup? Use two fries as chopsticks and pick up a caviar bit? Seems bad.

The lil ketchup pearls were created with the goal of helping ketchup-loving couples have an "exquisite Valentine's Day experience," according to the video. But as it turns out the caviar isn't actually available for purchase.

Instead, 150 Heinz Ketchup Caviar jars will be sent free of charge to a select group of Twitter users.

If you're interesting in winning one, all you have to do is respond to a tweet from @HeinzKetchup_US with your thoughts about the latest concoction using the hashtags #HeinzKetchupCaviar and #sweeps.

The opportunity to win is only available from Jan. 24 to Jan. 28, though. So if you're in the mood to eat some fancy ketchup you'd better send out your tweet.

Be sure to check out Heinz's full list of rules and promotional guidelines here, and, uh, best of luck impressing all your Valentine's day dinner dates.