【eroticized trauma】

Chances are,eroticized trauma we all know someone who has talked about a boss they didn’t care for.

It’s easy to blame the person in charge and to deflect internal unhappiness onto an external target. The key to getting yourself out of the blame game is to know yourself and what you want from the person you report to.

If you have a handle on what motivates you, then it really doesn’t matter what external circumstances come into play. That includes a boss you don’t mesh with! Understand what sets you up for success, and you’ll have a much easier time getting where you want to go.

While you can’t always hand pick your manager, there are things you can do to make any working relationship better.

Know Your Options

Management styles can be boiled down into several main categories. There’s hands-off management, micro-management, the motivator, the disciplinarian. Chances are that you’ll meet your future boss during the interview process.

If you aren’t sure who would be your manager, ask. If you haven’t spoken to them already, see if you can. Ask their management style, what they expect from their team and how they celebrate wins. If you interview with people who would be on your team, ask about their experience and what’s helped them succeed.

What Motivates You?

Knowing yourself is essential to having good working relationships, particularly with your boss. Do you want someone who follows up with you constantly? Do you need to try things on your own and get feedback after on how to improve? Are you good at keeping someone updated as things come up or do you prefer to be checked in with? Answer these questions honestly.

Once you know what motivates you and how you like to be communicated with, share it. You can get the boss you need by talking openly about your preferences. Do this in a way that they can hear. Ask them how they like to be communicated with.

Remember that your boss may not be able to meet all of your needs. Even after you’ve had a conversation with your manager about what motivates you, it’s still on you to continue doing what you can to set yourself up for success. Don’t leave your happiness and success entirely up to your boss - they are probably doing their best juggling multiple priorities.

Stay Positive

If you’re having a difficult time with your boss, remember, they are human too. Have empathy and compassion for your co-workers no matter what. Remember that you don’t know everything about their life.

The business world is more connected than ever, and chances are this person will be called upon to give you a reference, or may know someone at a company you apply to in the future. Also, don’t forget that hopping around doesn’t look good on your resume. I’ve written before about how to put your best foot forward through your resume, and one way is to show loyalty and dedication to a company.

If you’re having a tough time, go back to what’s in your control and what you can do to better the situation.

And, remember – you can avoid a difficult situation later on if you ask the right questions in your interviews!

Carolyn Betts Fleming is the Founder and CEO of Betts Recruiting, the leading global recruitment firm specializing in matching revenue-generating talent with the world’s most innovative companies.