【Watch Carnal Cravings (2006)】

The Watch Carnal Cravings (2006)company formally known as Yahoo is becoming Altaba. But the Yahoo branding you're familiar with will stick around and become part of Verizon.

Let's unknot this pretzel.

News broke late Monday that once Yahoo is officially acquired by Verizon, the company will change its name to Altaba. That works because the company that remains will be a husk, stripped of its primary assets.

Think of it this way: Years ago, someone planted a seed and called it "Yahoo Inc." It grew into a big ol' tree with some fruit hanging off of it. Verizon comes along with a basket and says, "Hey, I want to buy that fruit."

It can take all that fruit, including a really nice-looking tidbit that is the Yahoo brand, but the tree is still called Yahoo Inc. So, the farmer goes to the, uh, Securities and Exchange Commission (just roll with us) and says, "Hey, I'm selling all of my fruit to Verizon, and they can bake it into a new pie called Yahoo, but I need to change the name of this tree to Altaba. Cool?"

That's what's meant by Item 8.01 in SEC Form 8-K that Yahoo Inc. filed Monday, a.k.a. the worst bedtime story about trees and fruit you've ever read to your children.

"The Board also determined that, following the Closing, it intends to cause the Company’s name to be changed to Altaba Inc.," it says.

So, the most important bits of Yahoo's brand and operations are slated to become part of Verizon. To make that happen, the stuff that's left behind (basically just a holding company for previously purchased stock in Alibaba) is renamed Altaba, which you'll probably never hear of again.

Get your jokes out now, in other words.

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