【Dear Utol (2025): Itch Follows Episode 23】

This obituary is Dear Utol (2025): Itch Follows Episode 23truly something else.

A woman in Ontario, Canada, wrote her own obituary, because ... why not? At least she had a sense of humor about it.

"It hurts me to admit it," Sybil Marie Hicks wrote in her pre-written memorial to herself, which ran in the Specafter she died on Feb 2. "But I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away."

In the obituary, she affectionately wrote about her husband, Ron, whom she called a "Horse's Ass," and her children, clearly labeling which ones she liked best.

"I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years," Hicks said, listing Bob as her favorite. She jokingly jabbed at "Baby Bruce" who "wouldn't eat homemade turkey soup because he didn't want to be alert looking for bones while he ate."

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"I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted," Hicks quipped. "Having been cremated."

Adding that her husband's "special friend" Dorothy is now taking care of her horse's ass, Hicks clarified that nobody helped her write the obituary, and it was hers alone.

Twitter users believe Dorothy is the family pet, and Hicks had a last laugh stirring up some drama for her husband.

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"Thank you all for sharing my life with me," she concluded. "I am off to swim to the buoy and back."

The saucy obituary went viral, and Hicks' daughter "Brenda AKA 'Hazel" commented on it.

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Honestly, who wouldn't want to be this badass on their deathbed?