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2025-06-26 01:32:47 233 views 2115 comments

Warning: The Watch online Womb Raider (2003) full movieinauguration-inspired playlist you are about to hear is extremely bad. We apologize in advance.

You have Donald Trump to thank for this attack on your ears, however, because after struggling hardcore to book A-List entertainment for the main event, the president-elect was able to convince to the following big(ly) names to perform at his inauguration weekend: Jackie Evancho -- a runner-up from America's Got Talent --country singer Toby Keith and 3 Doors Down, a band of rockers not to be confused with Three Days Grace or Third Eye Blind.

SEE ALSO: All the celebrities who'll be performing at the inauguration vs. protesting it in one beautiful graphic

While that lineup might sound like someone's idea of a joke, that's not all the entertainment Trump has planned. He's also managed to book The Piano Guys, Tony Orlando and a bunch of other people whose names we don't hear on a daily basis, like Tim Rushlow from the band Little Texas, Larry Stewart of Restless Heart, Marty Roe from Diamond Rio and singer Lee Greenwood.

With such a random and uh, well, not so popular group, we figured we'd better familiarize ourselves with some of their greatest hits before Friday.

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After sifting through a whole lot of Christmas albums and several covers of "What A Wonderful World," this horrid, ear-traumatizing playlist was born.

So while you're emotionally pre-gaming inauguration weekend, here are some feel good jams from inauguration performers, like "Apocalypse," "Red Solo Cup," "Red Solo Cup Remix" and "Bridge Over Troubled Water," along with excellent patriotic hits like “Drunk Americans," a mashup of "Amazing Grace" and Hillary Clinton’s campaign trail anthem, "Fight Song," to really seal the horrible deal.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you'll consider fleeing the country, you’ll have to get new ears. Life as you know it will never be the same.

*sigh

*
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